Tale of the Jacket
Should be 14 pages long
We open with a page-width panel with the logo "M2: Harmony" in small letters and in horror style lettering, "Tale of the Jacket." To the right is the said jacket, on Picky's bed or something. The first real panel we see Picky in a giant armchair, in a bathrobe and slippers, with a plastic pipe and a giant book under cuffed hands.
Picky
Greetings. Today, I'd like to tell you a story most thrilling, gut wrenching, and to some, simply horrifying.
Closer up on Picky. He takes the pipe out of his mouth and holds it with one hand.
Picky
Our setting? A place of misery and torment. A place of captivity, where someone is always watching
you. It is an institution of kill or be killed. And if you're not with people who can protect you, then the
only person you can trust is yourself.
Zoom back out. Picky has opened the book.
Picky
Of course, I'm talking about high school. And the story is one of social acceptance by your student
peers. Most would call this… "popularity."
End this row with a close up on the book's pages.
Picky
Our story begins innocently enough. Yours truly, one Picky Minch, was just entering his first day of
being a senior—the last run of the public education system, where you have everything to lose.
This row has some overviews of Onett High School, showing the school, the field, a classroom, and
bullying in the halls of nerdy kids.
Narration
Onett High School was your typical small town high school, but for many, it is a place that will always
be with you, for better or worse.
The things you do here will define your character for life. And in the senior year, you have one last
chance to prove yourself.
Many go into Onett High. Some don't come out the same.
Some don't come out… at all.
We see a horrible old car pull up to the school, spewing fumes. The door opens, and Picky steps out. We see Lardna staring back at him. Suddenly the car takes off—with the door still open. Fumes cover Picky. He coughs as the fumes dissolve, and we see Picky in his old clothes in full.
Picky
Back for the last time…
We follow him from the back as he heads to the school where hordes of students are gathering. We see that he has a Tenda backpack.
Narration
My bestest friend in the whole world, Tracy, just got her braces off this weekend, and I couldn't wait to
see how straight her teeth were now.
We see a Junior yearbook photo of Tracy, with massive braces in her smile.
Narration
Good thing, too. She got them out the year that yearbooks actually mattered.
Picky
Now, where could Tracy be?
Picky looks to a group of students and notices Tracy's backside.
Picky
Ah-ha! Trace! Hey, Trace!
He runs up to her, and then notices that the group surrounding her are boys. He stops in his tracks and looks a little disgruntled. Tracy turns around, smiling vibrantly. Her arms are full of books.
Tracy
Hi, Picky!
Close up on Tracy's perfect smile.
Page 2 should start here, unless you want to fit more in.
Picky
Uh, hi, Tracy… Nice teeth.
Tracy
I know, and they really seem to like them!
Boy
Smile at us again!
Idiot
You don't even have to do that! Just look at us some more, Tracy!
Jerk
I can't believe we went to school together for three years and I just now learned your name, Tracy!
Picky
Um… see you in class… Tracy.
Tracy
Huh? Is something wrong, Picky?
Picky leaves Tracy behind.
Picky
(it's just a phase. Things will get back to normal in a few days.)
We see a lunch room.
Narration
But things only got worse later that day…
We see Picky looking at something. In the next panel, we see that Tracy is surrounded by boys at her table. She is poofing her hair and smiling.
Picky
(Tracy, what's happening to you? I thought you hated this kind of girly crap.)
Jerk
Those teeth are soooo straight!
Idiot
I know! Tracy is so cool!
Another look at Picky, looking pissed off. After lunch, Picky and Tracy are talking in the hall.
Picky
So, Tracy, do you want to hang out after school? (You know, like we have for years?)
Tracy
Oh, sure, Picky.
Picky
Great. How do you like our teachers so far?
Tracy
Hold on a sec, I think I have something in my teeth from lunch.
Tracy takes out a mirror and looks at her teeth in it. In the next panel, she's surrounded by boys again, with dust thrown up in the air to show that they ran to the spot. We see Picky shoved out of the crowd. In the next panel, Picky looks really angry and is clenching his fists.
Picky
(You're hurting me, Trace. You really are.)
Picky storms off down the hall.
Tracy (waving above the crowds)
Picky! Wait!
Page 3, maybe?
Picky gets away from the crowds, and is suddenly surrounded by two jocks.
Jock
Hey, Minch! Just thought we'd check up on you!
Thug
To make sure you're still going to do our math homework this year!
Picky
Do your own homework, you fat-headed idiots!
The two jocks look at one another, then with fists in palms, back at Picky. In the next panel, Picky is butt-first in a trash can with stars around his head.
Picky
(Same as usual… Tracy will come by any second now to pull me out.)
Picky looks down the hall. Crowds still surround Tracy.
Picky
(Any second now…)
Two small panels of Picky in the garbage. The first, he says nothing.
Picky
Crud…
On the next row, we see the bell ringing. Then, students rushing out of the classrooms. Elsewhere, Picky has just gotten out of the garbage and is brushing himself off.
Picky
Just great. I missed two classes trying to get out.
He walks down the hall, and then stops. We see both his eyes. In horror, he sees Tracy talking to the
one and only Scott. (his name is always in italics when it appears)
Picky
What the? What is Tracy doing talking to Scott, the most popular kid in school?
Tracy looks very ditzy/girly as she talks to him. Scott talks very simply and always waits before saying anything. Many times before he talks, give him a small panel of just silence. He has sunglasses, but they're always on his shirt collar. Of course, he has a toothpick and a leather jacket.
Scott
So, like… I hear that you're cool now.
Tracy
Well, I guess that's what some people are saying. I think it's because of my teeth.
Close up on her smile.
Scott
… Nice teeth. So what was your name? Like, Painty or something?
Tracy
Tracy.
Scott
Right. Tracy. Cool. So, like, you actually attend your classes, right?
Tracy
Yeah. I'm a straight A student.
Scott
… Awesome. You're so cool, you actually find time to get good grades. Me? I just hang out in the halls
all day like this.
Tracy
Oh. Are you actually, um, passing?
Scott
Sure. The teachers are all giving me C's just to make sure I don't repeat this year again.
Tracy
Oh.
Scott
So, like, do you want to hang out?
Tracy
Maybe tomorrow, Scott, I already have plans today.
Scott
Yeah. That's cool. See ya.
Tracy
Yeah.
Tracy leaves. Scott goes back to his prior position. We see Picky, angry
Page 4?
Picky goes up to Scott.
Scott
What do you want, dork?
Picky
Tracy is my friend. She's not shallow like other girls, and she's not going to be fooled by you.
Scott
Pfft. I don't fool anybody. The ladies like me because I'm just too cool.
Picky
Cool, huh? Is that all anyone cares about? Well, I'll have you know that I'm cool, too!
Scott
Oh, yeah? Prove it. Anyone who is even the slightest bit cool carries a Cheddar Army Knife at all times.
Picky
Oh, really?
Picky takes his out and extends it.
Picky
Ah-ha!
Scott just stares at it.
Scott
That's weak, dude.
Scott takes out his huge army knife.
Picky
What the heck? Is that thing even legal?
Scott
In a few states.
Picky
I won't let you take Tracy away from me!
Scott
I get any girl I want, dork. What are you going to do about it?
Picky
Y-you'll see!
Picky runs away. Scott shrugs.
Scott
What a loser.
Outside, Picky catches up to Tracy.
Tracy
Oh, there you are Picky. Want to go down to the arcade?
Picky
Why were you talking to Scott? Why do you want to hang out with Scott?
Tracy
Huh? Picky, don't be jealous or something! We're only friends.
Picky
He only likes you because of your teeth!
Tracy
Picky, how could you say something so hurtful? I can't believe you!
Picky
I can be cool too, you know! You'll see!
Picky shouts out at the crowd crazy like.
Picky
You'll all see!
Picky runs away.
Random Boy near Tracy
What a dork.
Page 5?!?!
Picky is up in his room. Except for whatever would be pink being blue instead, this is exactly like the girl's room in any teen movie. There are even pop posters on the walls (Venus, Boy Bands). Near Picky is his telephone and cat.
Picky
Oh, what's a boy to do? My best friend is falling for the wrong guy! I'm just trying to look out for her.
Picky looks over at Picky Junior.
Picky
Sometimes I think you're my only friend, Picky Junior.
Picky Jr.
Mrow?
Picky
You're right. I should at least call Tracy and apologize.
Picky picks up the phone and dials, but it's busy.
Picky
It's busy. Who could she be talking to?
Picky gets up and picks up his binoculars. He looks over at Ness's house and sees Tracy is talking in her bedroom, walking around the room while talking.
Picky
Ugh, I bet she's talking to Scott!
We see Tracy's room. It's pink, and has a shelf of unicorns. Tracy looks shocked.
Tracy
Mom, you're getting surgery where? Ew, that's disgusting!
Picky puts down his binoculars.
Picky
That does it! I'm going to be just as cool as Scott. Cooler, even.
Picky Junior
Mrow?
Picky
I need to learn how to be cool. I know just who to call!
We see legs resting on a desk near a phone. The phone rings, and an arm reaches over and picks it up.
Voice
Hello? Huh? Cool lessons? Sure, I can give you some. Come on over.
In a very hilarious scene, we see Picky riding his beat up old dorky bike through the woods, across the street, and then to the burger shop. And he is WHISTLING the Earthbound bike them like a dork. He leans his bike against the building. In the next panel, it falls apart with him still holding the handlebars. He goes inside and knocks on a door marked "Manager."
Voice
Come in.
Could this be page 6?!
We see Frank, without his sunglasses, behind the desk.
Frank
So… You decided to come to me to learn how to be cool, huh?
Picky
Yeah. You were a master at it once, Frank. Teach me your ways.
Frank
I don't know. That was… a long time ago. These days, I mostly drink herbal teas and listen to folk
music.
Narration
When did Frank become such a square? I was about to give up and walk out, when…
Picky
Great, now I'll never save Tracy from Scott…
Frank
Did… you say Scott?
Frank has a flashback. Scott comes up to the counter at the burger place and slaps a buck on the counter. Girls are behind him.
Scott
Hey, gramps! Gimme one of your slimy burgers!
Frank
(Gramps? GRAMPS?!)
Scott
C'mon, ya old geezer! What's the hold up? Gimme some of that beef from whatever cow did that
to your hair this morning!
Frank
Oh, that's it!
Frank reaches over the counter to strangle Scott, but two of his workers hold him back.
Worker
Sir, we can't afford another lawsuit!
Worker
We can't keep strangling customers, sir!
Frank (emo fist)
Scott… He wronged me…
Picky
Uh… Okay?
Frank
You know what? I think I have some cool left in me to pass onto you! You could be my heir, Picky
Minch! Or should I say, Frank the Second!
Picky
Frank… the Second? What the—
Frank leaps up and wraps his arm around Picky's shoulder.
Frank
From now on, you are my apprentice! I will teach you everything!
Picky
Really? Can you really make me cool?
Frank
I certainly can! And your journey will begin…
Frank takes his seat.
Frank
Right after my shift is over. Wait out in the back.
Picky
Yes, sir!
We see a panel of Picky waiting out in the back with the dumpsters. A single light is above him, attracting moths. In the next panel, Frank comes out.
Frank
Okay, first thing you have to do to be cool, is when a friend bets you to do something, you absolutely
must do it!
Picky
Huh? But that's stupid and just makes you shallow and easily manipulated!
Frank
No. That's what they want you to think. If you do a bet, you are cool. If you flake out, you are the epitome
of lame! Now, then…
Frank reaches into a garbage can and pulls out a half eaten burger.
Frank
Eat this.
Close up on the disgusting burger. It has flies and maggots all over it.
Picky
No way! That's disgusting!
Frank
Come on, millions of people eat bugs! They're good for you! And it's only been in there a few hours. Do
you want to be lame forever, Picky?
Picky
Well…
Picky takes the burger and looks at it. He then bites into it. A number of small panels comes up.
Picky
It… seems to be okay…
Picky
…
Picky's cheeks swell up cartoon style, and in the next panel, Picky vomits.
Text Box
Picky Gained 20 cool points!
Picky became a vegetarian!
Last panel of the page. Frank is patting Picky on the back.
Frank
Starting to feel cool, yet?
Page 7!!! This is a page that can be extended past what I write or cut short (only the stuff I don't make up) to properly fit the whole series in.
Narration
My training started right after that. It was tough, and hard, but it was worth it…
Frank is on the top of the meteor hill, looking down at Picky scaling the cliff.
Frank
Come on, you maggot! You call yourself a man?! I got up here ten minutes ago.
Picky
*huff* Frank, what does this have to do with being cool? *huff*
Frank
Huh? Um…
Frank rubs the back of his neck.
Frank
Oh, wait… This is something you do if you want to be tough. My bad.
Use the surfer dude picture and trace over it, literally, so the style is completely different.
Frank
Hm… yeah, that's disturbing.
Sound of something snapping/breaking in the next panel. In the following…
Picky
Aaaaaaah!!!!
Most of the rest of the panels of the page are a montage of cool training. These can include posture, staying silent and mysterious in public places, and ways of talking cool. At the end of the training, they gather in front of the police station.
Frank
You have learned well, Picky. But there is one last thing you must do before your training is complete
and you get your certified cool goods. You need to master… the look.
Picky
The look?
Frank
Yes. Using only your eyes, you must prove to someone just how cool you are. And the less you have to
move the rest of your face, the better you are at it. Watch…
Frank looks over at a police officer.
Officer
Hey! What are you looking at, you punk?!
Frank twists his body slightly and shoots the officer the look.
The officer trembles, and then runs away into the night.
Picky
Woah!
Frank
If you can master that, then Picky, you're cool.
Picky
I better get home, then! I've got to spend the night practicing!
Picky runs off.
Frank (tear)
That kid… is heading places.
Page 8 now, or earlier.
The next morning before school, Picky goes over the Frank's garage. Frank is outside, finishing something up on his motorcycle.
Frank
Picky! You look confident! Can I take it you mastered the look?
Picky
… Yeah. You can.
Frank
I'll trust your word. Then your training is complete. This is your reward.
Frank reveals his bike, with a fresh "II" painted after the "Franky" on the side.
Picky
You're giving me this bike? Seriously?!
Frank
You are my successor, Picky. May you honor my legacy and never become semi-lame like I have. But
don't lose your cool yet; we've got to do something about that outfit of yours. Follow me.
They go into Frank's pad. Frank has a sunglass rack and pulls his old pair out.
Frank
Try these on.
Picky does so. His hair covers most of the glasses up.
Frank
Hm… How about these?
A few small panels of different sunglasses on Picky. His hair covers them up every time.
Frank
Hm… That hair of yours… You need something else. Bah, we'll look for something in a minute. I've got
one more thing to give you.
Frank goes over to his closet and pulls out a leather jacket. Picky stares at it in awe.
Frank
This beauty got me through high school.
Picky
But I'm a vegetarian now, and that's leather…
Frank
Oh, don't worry! I'm a vegetarian too, even though I run a burger place. (Not like that stuff is real meat, anyway). This here is synthesized leather, made with 50% tofu!
Picky
Really? Awesome!
Picky takes the jacket. He then looks over and notices Frank's sewing station.
Picky
Hey, Frank, do you sew?
Frank
I do a little needlepoint, yes.
Picky
Think you could do one last thing for me?
Frank
For you? Definitely.
The last two pages.
Back in the school hallway, Tracy is now trying to fend off Scott.
Scott
C'mon, babe! Just one more time!
Tracy
No way, Scott! It's creepy! Stop trying to touch my teeth!
Scott
But they're so smooth… and white… and shiny!
Scott grabs Tracy by the wrists.
Tracy
Scott, I said no!
Scott
Please, Trace? Just one more time, I promise! I—wait, do you smell that?
They both sniff the air.
Tracy
It smells like… gasoline.
A close up on the hallway door. In the next panel, it suddenly bursts open. There's a shadowy figure on a motorcycle, a bandana flailing in the wind. The sun shines from behind like golden light. Tracy and Scott both cover their eyes partly with their hands.
Scott
Who the heck is that?
Lots of small close up panels follow, showing off different parts of Awesome Picky. His bandana, the other side of the bike, with "Picky" scratched in, the bike's dirty exhaust vents spewing smoke, Picky's jacket, and the "M" on the back. The toothpick in Picky's mouth. End with a silly one, like Picky's nose or something. All the while, his bike lets out an "RRRRRRRRRR" sound effect. Then, one larger panel showing Picky on the bike.
Tracy and Scott
Picky?!
Close up on Picky's feet slamming down on the motorcycle pedal. We watch it screech down the hall, with Picky's bandana waving in the wind. Picky screeches to a stop right by Scott, his bike at an angle being held up by a leg.
Scott
Pfft. Nice try, dork. You think you're cool? You're just a loser poser!
Picky looks up while pulling his hair off his eyes. He looks straight ahead but doesn't look Scott in the eye yet.
Picky
What… did you say?
Scott
You heard me! You're just a fake! A poser! You're a—
Close up on Picky's eyes through two panels. On the second, Picky moves his pupils to the edge of the eye. There's some kind of weird sound effect and explosive background. Scott's reaction is pure shock.
Scott
No way!
In the next panel, Scott is hit by an invisible force like an uppercut. He is flung backward into the air, flies all the way to the end of the hall, and straight into the girl's bathroom, all while saying "Aaaaaah!!!!!" The door to the bathroom swings for a panel, and then…
Girls
Ahh! Pervert, pervert!
Picky turns to Tracy.
Tracy
Picky! You… you look kind of cool!
Picky
… I know.
Suddenly, Frank kicks open the door. He walks up to Picky.
Frank
Hey, Franky Junior, where's that no good hoodlum?
Picky
In the girls' bathroom.
Frank (stares)
Really…?
Picky spits out the toothpick.
Picky
C'mon, Trace. I'll take you home.
The two take off.
Frank
They let the cool kids hang out in the girls' bathroom these days? Dang… what's wrong with the
youth of today?
The next panel shows Picky with Tracy riding behind him, bursting out of the door. In the next panel, they're heading home on the bike.
Tracy
Um, sorry about yesterday, Picky. I was kind of excited about getting my braces off. It might've got to
my head a little.
Picky
Really?
Tracy
Yeah. What, did you think I was going to fall in with a clique or something? Pfft, yeah right, Picky.
Picky
And what about Scott?
Tracy
Scott's a loser who doesn't care about his education. I was just trying not to hurt his feelings yesterday.
Picky
Oh… Heh.
Picky stops and takes off his bandana. He looks down at it.
Picky
Man… High school is stupid isn't it?
Tracy
We only have to put it up with it another 250 or so days, you know.
Picky
That's a relief.
We see Picky and Tracy from behind heading home on the bike. The bandana is lying on the ground.
Tracy
Nice jacket, Picky.
Picky
Thanks.
Tracy
So… where are we going now, exactly?
Picky
Um, I better go to the DMV so I can get a motorcycle license.
Tracy
Wow, Picky…
Picky
First I have to figure out how to make turns on this thing though…
Back at the school hallway, Scott is just emerging from the bathroom. He is covered in toilet paper, lipstick, and eye shadow. Someone throws her purse at him from inside.
Scott
Oh, man… This is so not cool…
Frank's Fists
Hello, Scott.
Scott
Hello, gramps. So who the heck are you?
Frank
Oh, let me help you remember.
Frank drags Scott into the guy's bathroom by the collar.
Scott
No, man, that's not cool! I just came from a bathroom! What are you doing?!
Frank
Just a little thing I invented called the swirley.
Scott
No! Leave my beautiful hair alone! Noooo!!!
Picky drops Tracy off at her house.
Picky
Well, I'm off to get a license. Tell your mom I said hi.
Tracy
Hey, come over for dinner, okay?
Picky
Yeah. See ya, Trace.
Picky drives off into the sunset.
Tracy
That Picky… He's so choice!
On the last row, we're back in Picky's story telling den thingy. He is now petting his cat.
Picky
Well, I hope you enjoyed this terrifying little tale of teenage angst, recovered friendships, and life
lessons realized. Personally, I thought the whole thing was pretty dumb.
Very last panel, close up on Picky, with a "The End" at the bottom.
Picky
Until next time, this has been Picky Minch's story theater.
Dad
Lardna, where in blazes is my bathrobe?!